21-year-old's estranged father writes her a big check after years of no child support, his new wife demands she give the money back: ‘She said it was money that was meant to go on her kids’

Author image for Lana DeGaetano
Lana DeGaetano • "Show me to me please."
Apr 1, 2025 10:00 AM EDT

If there's one thing estranged parents know how to do well, it's neglect their kids until the weight of their guilty conscience demands they do something before it's crushed forever. The pawns in this sad game are their children, whom they left without a parent. These kids often blame themselves for the absence of their mother or father, and they end up coping with that absence in a myriad of ways—some of which might not be the best coping mechanisms.

Sometimes, though, estranged parents come back into the woodwork with a barrel of cash to say, "Hey, I'm sorry for all of the emotional turmoil, here's five grand."

Such is the case in this next story, and the 21-year-old daughter recipient is fine with that. Her estranged father's new wife is not fine with that and demands she give that money back. Luckily, this was her father's money and not her would-be stepmother's. Who's going to inform the stepmother of this? Scroll to read.

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  • Hey, if my father showed up out of the blue with a five or six-figure check to say sorry for all of the drama, I'd take it whether or not I forgave him. Money is money, and if child support was not paid out to my mother or me, you'd best believe the next stop after finding the “I'm sorry” paternal check would be the bank. 

  • 6119 BANK ACCOUNT BALANCE Last Day 1. $650.00 2. $1200.00 3.5 250.00 4.5 199.00 5. $ 1011.00 6. $99.00
    via Behnam Norouzi For Unsplash+

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • "AITA for not giving my estranged father's wife the money he sent me?"

    My father wasn't in my (21f) life growing up. He left mom and me when I was 2 and refused to pay child support. He quit his job. when he was tracked down for
    via Awkward_Position_908
  • support and he spent time in jail rather than pay. Eventually mom stopped fighting because it was going nowhere. She felt like it was wasting resources chasing after him when it was obvious he was going to avoid it however he could.
    via Awkward_Position_908
  • A couple of years ago he moved about an hour away and I saw him for the first time since a court appearance when I was 8. We didn't speak either of those times
    via Awkward_Position_908
  • but it surprised me that he came back. I found out he was married and had more kids from my paternal aunt. He'd reached out to her and wanted to reconnect
    via Awkward_Position_908
  • and she told him where to go. She was always pretty disgusted he walked away like he did and refused to support me financially.
    via Awkward_Position_908
  • In December my aunt told me he went to her house and left something for me there. I asked her what it was and she had no idea but she said it was in an
    via Awkward_Position_908
  • envelope. I opened it and it was a check. And it was a big one too. I tried giving it to my mom but she told me to keep it and he owed me. That he abandoned me. And
    via Awkward_Position_908
  • it was the least I deserved. I tried telling her she deserved it more but she wouldn't even entertain the idea. So after confirming it was legit I lodged it into my account.
    via Awkward_Position_908
  • Then his wife came looking for the money by going to my aunt's house for me. My aunt made her leave and I wasn't even there but she showed up a few days later
    via Awkward_Position_908
  • when I was there and she demanded the money. She said it was money that was meant to go on her kids. That he had no right to drain their accounts for me. I told her it wasn't my problem and my aunt threatened to call the cops.
    via Awkward_Position_908
  • Cheezburger Image 10488294656
    via Ahmet Kurt For Unsplash+
  • She showed up at my aunts house again a few days after and my aunt followed through and called the cops. But apparently this woman left the message that I was selfish and entitled and I stole it from her kids. AITA?
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  • Mother Search3350 You stole nothing. Her kids have beeeen supported by that deadbeat all their lives as she DGAF whether you were d d or alive or if you had food to eat or clothes to wear.
    via Mother_Search3350
  • That's all the back child support that d dbeat owes you like your mom said. You are entitled to that money and did not steal anything from anyone. Keep calling the cops every time she shows up.
    via Mother_Search3350
  • She chose to marry and have kids with a d dbeat who ghosted his own child for 19 years. Karma has finally found her address. NTAH
    via Mother_Search3350
  • Patient_Meaning_2751 Don't respond to this woman at all. If she continues to pester you about it, get a restraining order. You owe her nothing.
    via Patient_Meaning_2751
  • RasilBathbone NTA. Not your monkey, not your circus. Your absent dad is definitely TA for you, and it seems like he's being TA to his current family as well. But you are no less entitled to that money than they are, and his current wife isn't
    via RasilBathbone
  • entitled to harass you or his sister over an issue she has with him. You aunt was right to involve the police, and she should do it again if it happens again. Take your mom out for a nice dinner, and then use the money in whatever way is best for you.
    via RasilBathbone

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